1
00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:06,938
[♪]

2
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,049
♪ love and marriage ♪

3
00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:20,518
♪ love and marriage ♪

4
00:00:20,519 --> 00:00:22,320
♪ go together like ♪

5
00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:24,789
♪ a horse and carriage ♪

6
00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:28,793
♪ this I tell ya, brother ♪

7
00:00:28,794 --> 00:00:30,729
♪ you can't have one ♪

8
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,131
♪ without the other ♪

9
00:00:33,132 --> 00:00:35,600
♪ love and marriage ♪

10
00:00:35,601 --> 00:00:38,202
♪ love and marriage ♪

11
00:00:38,203 --> 00:00:39,738
♪ it's an institute ♪

12
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:42,340
♪ you can't disparage ♪

13
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:46,111
♪ ask the local gentry ♪

14
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:50,649
♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪

15
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:55,453
♪ try, try, try
to separate them ♪

16
00:00:55,454 --> 00:00:59,157
♪ it's an illusion ♪

17
00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:04,162
♪ try, try, try
and you will only come ♪

18
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,732
♪ to this conclusion ♪

19
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,834
♪ love and marriage ♪

20
00:01:15,474 --> 00:01:17,642
Narrator: <i>Last week on</i>
married...With children...

21
00:01:17,643 --> 00:01:19,410
What is that behind
your back?

22
00:01:20,546 --> 00:01:21,546
Woman: What-- ohh!

23
00:01:21,547 --> 00:01:22,747
Woman: Aah!

24
00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:24,683
<i>Yep. Somebody sure</i>
<i>doesn't like tourists.</i>

25
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:27,752
<i>He chops them up in 1972...</i>

26
00:01:27,753 --> 00:01:30,254
<i>And 1977...</i>

27
00:01:30,255 --> 00:01:32,657
<i>And 1982. Yep.</i>

28
00:01:32,658 --> 00:01:34,059
<i>Every five years.</i>

29
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:36,728
Who you think's gonna
get killed this time?

30
00:01:38,263 --> 00:01:40,598
We're here!

31
00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:44,169
Narrator:
<i>Nobody really likes poppy's,</i>
<i>but al's happy anywhere.</i>

32
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,170
Look here.

33
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,504
"tonight at the high school,

34
00:01:46,505 --> 00:01:49,040
Meet the man
who met andy griffith."

35
00:01:52,144 --> 00:01:56,280
Narrator:
<i>Peggy is harder to please.</i>

36
00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:57,682
Comfortable, al?

37
00:01:57,683 --> 00:02:00,151
Does it matter, peg?

38
00:02:00,152 --> 00:02:01,652
Not really.

39
00:02:01,653 --> 00:02:04,956
Aw, peg, this was supposed
to be my vacation.

40
00:02:04,957 --> 00:02:07,558
Get to work, al.

41
00:02:07,559 --> 00:02:10,361
All right.
Get my dramamine.

42
00:02:11,396 --> 00:02:13,598
Aaah!
Aaah!

43
00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:15,666
Narrator: <i>And now,</i>
<i>the bundy vacation continues.</i>

44
00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:21,372
Oh, oh, oh, oh!

45
00:02:23,408 --> 00:02:24,508
Kids, come on!

46
00:02:24,509 --> 00:02:26,111
Kelly, where's bud?

47
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:27,712
He was listening
behind the door.

48
00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,817
Oh, oh!
Come on, bud,
kelly, we have--

49
00:02:32,818 --> 00:02:34,886
Oh, oh!
Will you shut up?

50
00:02:34,887 --> 00:02:36,755
Kids, get dressed.

51
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,456
We're leaving.
But we like it here.

52
00:02:38,457 --> 00:02:41,726
Suit yourself.
Peg.

53
00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:44,028
Al, we are not
leaving the children.

54
00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:45,263
Well what's wrong?

55
00:02:45,264 --> 00:02:46,664
There's someone
in our room.

56
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:48,867
That's him!

57
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,902
All: Aaah!

58
00:03:02,714 --> 00:03:03,714
Help!

59
00:03:03,715 --> 00:03:04,949
Help!

60
00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:06,350
Peg, do something.

61
00:03:06,351 --> 00:03:09,187
Aah!

62
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:10,388
All right,
we need a plan.

63
00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:11,455
Here's what we do.

64
00:03:11,456 --> 00:03:13,057
We get in the car
and drive home.

65
00:03:13,058 --> 00:03:15,726
That's it, that's the plan.
Let's go!

66
00:03:19,064 --> 00:03:21,199
All:
Aaah!

67
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,536
Who could have cut
our tires?

68
00:03:25,537 --> 00:03:26,805
Oh, well, let's see.

69
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:29,440
Who do we know that's insane
and has a sharp object.

70
00:03:29,441 --> 00:03:32,376
Grandma?

71
00:03:32,377 --> 00:03:34,813
Dad, would this be
a bad time to remind you?

72
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:36,347
We all voted for hawaii.

73
00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:38,149
You know, bud, there's still
an opening for someone

74
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:40,718
To go upstairs
and get our bags.

75
00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:42,753
Uh, dad?
Oh, what?!

76
00:03:42,754 --> 00:03:44,189
There's a phone
behind you.

77
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,024
You might want to share
this with the police.

78
00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:47,826
I'm just tell them
that we're in this dump

79
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,093
And if you have the time

80
00:03:49,094 --> 00:03:51,029
Why don't you tell them
there's a killer upstairs!

81
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:55,300
See?
There's a team player.

82
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,600
[clicking lever]

83
00:03:56,601 --> 00:03:57,668
Hello, operator?

84
00:03:57,669 --> 00:03:58,803
Operator!

85
00:03:58,804 --> 00:04:01,206
Hello!

86
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:02,841
The phone's dead.

87
00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:04,675
Okay, I know how
to buy us some time.

88
00:04:04,676 --> 00:04:08,213
We'll tie kelly up,
and leave her as an offering.

89
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:11,182
Uh-uh.
Last born, first torn.

90
00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:13,051
Don't move.

91
00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:16,754
I love you, al.

92
00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:18,256
Who cares?
We're going to die.

93
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,396
What are you folks doing?

94
00:04:25,397 --> 00:04:29,133
Wetting ourselves.

95
00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:31,135
Someone tried to kill us
in our room.

96
00:04:31,136 --> 00:04:33,604
Oh, yeah.

97
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:36,540
Must've been the guy
who does that every five years.

98
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:39,443
That wasn't
in the brochure, al.

99
00:04:39,444 --> 00:04:41,445
The storm washed
the bridge out.

100
00:04:41,446 --> 00:04:44,048
That means the killer
is stuck right here with us.

101
00:04:44,049 --> 00:04:46,885
Got him right
where I want him.

102
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,921
Well, might as well
go back to bed now.

103
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:52,290
Oh, if you folks see
him again, just holler.

104
00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:54,225
I'll try and find you.

105
00:04:55,827 --> 00:05:00,131
There goes the only  man in town
who can save us from the killer.

106
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:02,166
We're dead.

107
00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:05,270
Well, maybe this is just one
of those mystery weekends.

108
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,971
There's no mystery, mom.

109
00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:09,107
Dad was just too cheap
to take us someplace nice,

110
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,441
And we're going
to be butchered.

111
00:05:10,442 --> 00:05:11,910
Thank your father, kids.

112
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:15,579
Thanks, dad.
Thanks, dad.

113
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,515
Okay,
family meeting.

114
00:05:20,786 --> 00:05:23,354
All right, now, let's discuss
what we know already.

115
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:25,723
We're trapped by a killer,
the phones are dead,

116
00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:28,927
And the sheriff couldn't
catch an mandm in his mouth.

117
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,662
So it looks like it's left
up to us to survive.

118
00:05:31,663 --> 00:05:34,498
Now, what we need is a weapon.
Any weapons?

119
00:05:34,499 --> 00:05:37,501
How about bud's underwear
on a stick?

120
00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:42,040
That's a good thought, kelly,
but we can't get to our clothes.

121
00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,707
Well, here's
a plastic fork, al.

122
00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:45,076
That's good enough.

123
00:05:45,077 --> 00:05:47,812
Now, here's what
we're gonna do.

124
00:05:47,813 --> 00:05:49,814
We're gonna sit
with our backs to each other

125
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,715
So no one
can sneak up on us.

126
00:05:51,716 --> 00:05:53,985
Now, we'll set up a watch.

127
00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:55,686
We'll take turns,
I'll take the first watch.

128
00:05:55,687 --> 00:05:59,157
Now, I think I can stay up all
night, but if I get sleepy,

129
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,325
I'll wake you up.

130
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:02,093
Now, be careful, al.

131
00:06:02,094 --> 00:06:04,562
Don't worry about me.
I got the fork.

132
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:20,445
Well, this is certainly
a fine how-do-you-do.

133
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:22,447
They're alive.

134
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:23,948
What happens to our pool?

135
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:27,418
I guess we just roll it
over till tonight.

136
00:06:27,419 --> 00:06:28,652
Crowd: Yeah.

137
00:06:28,653 --> 00:06:30,488
Think we should
we wake them up?

138
00:06:30,489 --> 00:06:31,689
It's almost noon.

139
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:34,892
Don't startle the poor
little white-haired girl.

140
00:06:34,893 --> 00:06:38,696
I read them albinos
are real skittish.

141
00:06:39,631 --> 00:06:40,865
Be careful.

142
00:06:40,866 --> 00:06:44,768
The one with the powerful feet
got a fork in his pants.

143
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,206
Hey, bundy, get up.

144
00:06:51,943 --> 00:06:54,412
Peg, kids, get up.

145
00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:55,413
It's safe.

146
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:56,814
Thanks to me.

147
00:06:56,815 --> 00:06:59,717
Al, why didn't you wake us
for our watch?

148
00:06:59,718 --> 00:07:03,554
Hey, the lion
watches over his cubs.

149
00:07:03,555 --> 00:07:05,856
Oh, the sheriff said to tell you

150
00:07:05,857 --> 00:07:07,825
He didn't find
nothing in your room.

151
00:07:07,826 --> 00:07:10,294
It's safe to go back up.

152
00:07:10,295 --> 00:07:12,030
Uh, excuse me, everybody.

153
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:13,764
I don't mean
to interrupt your meal.

154
00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,633
But I would just
like to say thanks

155
00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:18,302
For rushing to our aid as
I was screaming into the night.

156
00:07:18,303 --> 00:07:19,303
Does everybody
realize that

157
00:07:19,304 --> 00:07:21,105
We were almost
killed last night?

158
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:23,774
Yeah, sure do.

159
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,644
Oh, well, then maybe
I'm boring you.

160
00:07:26,645 --> 00:07:28,546
Isn't anybody else scared?

161
00:07:28,547 --> 00:07:29,947
No...

162
00:07:29,948 --> 00:07:33,017
You see, there is this axe
wielding maniac on the loose.

163
00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:36,220
Sometimes they
can hurt you.

164
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:39,757
Won't hurt us.
He just kills tourists.

165
00:07:39,758 --> 00:07:43,261
11 since 1962.

166
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,829
Family meeting.

167
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:48,699
We're out of here.

168
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,201
Al, may I remind you
that somebody

169
00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:52,703
Has slashed our tires,
the bridge is washed out,

170
00:07:52,704 --> 00:07:58,409
And somewhere in honolulu,
there's a family going, "ahh."

171
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,844
You can't let it alone,
can you peg?

172
00:08:00,845 --> 00:08:03,081
Now this is nice.
"why can't we go to hawaii?"

173
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:04,482
"why did we have to come here?"

174
00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,617
"why do we have
to take this car?"

175
00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:08,386
You know, standing here
with my loving family,

176
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:09,454
I have a question.

177
00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:11,855
Why am I running
from the axe?

178
00:08:15,227 --> 00:08:16,860
You're right, al.

179
00:08:16,861 --> 00:08:19,029
I'm sorry to keep
harping at you.

180
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:21,799
I mean, sure there's
a maniac stalking us,

181
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,367
But what about
all these nice people

182
00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:26,270
And the raw beauty
that is poppy's?

183
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:29,574
Oh, god,
I feel so low.

184
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,375
It's beautiful
here, al.

185
00:08:31,376 --> 00:08:32,743
I'm having a blast.

186
00:08:32,744 --> 00:08:34,145
Thank your father, kids.

187
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,747
Thanks, dad.
Thanks, dad.

188
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:40,718
And, al,
you are an idiot.

189
00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:43,121
So, let's go pack,
steal a canoe,

190
00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:44,755
And get the hell
out of here.

191
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:48,993
That's right, envy me.

192
00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:50,894
That's my wife,
those are my kids,

193
00:08:50,895 --> 00:08:54,532
And I sell women's shoes.

194
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:57,502
What am I worried about?
I was dead before I got here.

195
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,242
Wait a second.
Wait a second.

196
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:07,211
What if the killer
is inside waiting for us?

197
00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:09,680
All right, someone's got
to be the brave one.

198
00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:10,881
I'll stay back
with the kids.

199
00:09:10,882 --> 00:09:13,083
Peg, check the room.

200
00:09:13,084 --> 00:09:15,620
Uh-uh, al.
You got the fork.

201
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,455
Ah, it's always me.

202
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:18,656
I work.
I pay the bills.

203
00:09:18,657 --> 00:09:20,824
And who's the first
to die?

204
00:09:20,825 --> 00:09:22,326
Daddy.

205
00:09:23,228 --> 00:09:26,264
[eerie music playing]

206
00:09:30,235 --> 00:09:32,203
Heh, heh!

207
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:38,876
Heh, heh!

208
00:09:40,145 --> 00:09:42,480
Heh, heh!

209
00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:48,085
It's safe.

210
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:51,522
You're welcome.

211
00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:52,690
All right.
Pack everything.

212
00:09:52,691 --> 00:09:54,225
We'll leave
the doors unlocked.

213
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,026
Peg.

214
00:09:56,027 --> 00:09:59,063
[eerie music playing]

215
00:10:08,173 --> 00:10:10,575
Heh, heh!

216
00:10:14,546 --> 00:10:16,581
Ha, ha!

217
00:10:17,982 --> 00:10:20,050
It's safe.
Okay.

218
00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:23,554
Steal everything
that's not tied down.

219
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:28,259
Pack up. We'll go downstairs,
get a refund, hit the road.

220
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,127
Oh, uh, pack this.

221
00:10:30,128 --> 00:10:31,795
We can always use a fork.

222
00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:35,132
And don't forget
my special towel.

223
00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:38,402
I'll get the luggage.

224
00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:41,739
Aah!

225
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,407
Aah!

226
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:45,776
Stop him!
Stop him!

227
00:10:45,777 --> 00:10:46,777
Stop him!

228
00:10:46,778 --> 00:10:48,412
Al, you forgot your fork!

229
00:10:48,413 --> 00:10:50,681
Somebody grab him!
He's the killer!

230
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:56,420
Got a killer here!

231
00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:58,088
Got a killer here!

232
00:10:58,089 --> 00:11:00,090
Thank you!

233
00:11:00,091 --> 00:11:01,492
Aah!

234
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:03,227
The killer stepped
on my foot.

235
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,835
Thanks a hell
of a lot, guys.

236
00:11:11,836 --> 00:11:15,673
Did I catch the killer
at a bad time for you?

237
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,342
Bundy? What the hell are
you doing with poor delbert?

238
00:11:18,343 --> 00:11:19,677
Come on, delbert.

239
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:22,012
Lock him up, sheriff.
The rough stuff's all over.

240
00:11:22,013 --> 00:11:23,113
He's the killer.

241
00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:27,618
I got him with
old dynamite and iron.

242
00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:29,887
But that's delbert.

243
00:11:29,888 --> 00:11:32,122
So you don't arrest
delberts down here?

244
00:11:32,123 --> 00:11:36,126
What is he, sacred?
The guy was in my closet.

245
00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:40,964
Now, delbert, what were you
doing in this man's closet?

246
00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:45,269
Come on, delbert.
I know your ma.

247
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:50,007
I just wanted
his camera.

248
00:11:50,008 --> 00:11:53,944
Now what do you say, delbert?
Come on.

249
00:11:53,945 --> 00:11:55,546
I'm sorry.

250
00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:58,316
Now go on home.
Go on.

251
00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:05,189
Being a little rough
on him, aren't you sheriff?

252
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:10,695
He's no killer,
just one of them kleptos.

253
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:12,463
Hell, he's my deputy.

254
00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:14,198
He was with me last night.

255
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:15,966
Oh, thanks, roy.

256
00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:18,436
Here's your camera.

257
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:21,004
Now go back to sleep,

258
00:12:21,005 --> 00:12:24,408
Enjoy the rest
of your vacation, and relax.

259
00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:27,244
Me and delbert's
on the case.

260
00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:29,146
Look, that guy's a killer.

261
00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:31,382
I know it, you know it,
and them--

262
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:32,683
Well,
if darwin was right,

263
00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:35,152
They'll know it in
about a million years.

264
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,756
Now, me?
I'm taking my family

265
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,090
And I'm going back
to chicago

266
00:12:40,091 --> 00:12:42,292
Where I die just
a little each day.

267
00:12:45,497 --> 00:12:48,031
Peg! Kids!
Let's go!

268
00:12:48,032 --> 00:12:49,967
What happened, dad?

269
00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:53,136
Oh, I was a big hero.
I caught the killer.

270
00:12:53,137 --> 00:12:54,572
And the townspeople
cheered

271
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:57,475
And let him go
because he's a delbert.

272
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,609
Our vacation's over.

273
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,277
Let's go.

274
00:13:02,213 --> 00:13:03,514
Uh, dad?

275
00:13:03,515 --> 00:13:04,915
I think we're
missing something.

276
00:13:04,916 --> 00:13:07,317
Well, leave it here,
we'll have them send it to us.

277
00:13:07,318 --> 00:13:09,553
It's mom, dad.

278
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,090
Oh, yeah.

279
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:16,460
I was wondering why
I was carrying the bags.

280
00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:19,930
Where'd she go?

281
00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:31,876
Now, don't get nervous.

282
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,544
I'm sure if anybody
has your mother,

283
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:36,547
He won't keep her long.

284
00:13:36,548 --> 00:13:39,149
Now, we'll go down
in the lobby and look for her.

285
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:40,684
If she's not there,
I'll find her.

286
00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:43,287
You stay in the lobby
with the mouth breathers.

287
00:13:43,288 --> 00:13:44,789
Let's go.

288
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:47,324
[gagged speech]

289
00:13:51,396 --> 00:13:53,664
Why am I doing this?

290
00:13:53,665 --> 00:13:54,865
Revenge.

291
00:13:54,866 --> 00:13:55,866
Mm.

292
00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:57,968
Not just against you.

293
00:13:57,969 --> 00:13:59,603
All tourists.

294
00:13:59,604 --> 00:14:02,205
See, my daddy used
to own this place.

295
00:14:02,206 --> 00:14:03,808
Mama didn't want him
to buy it,

296
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:08,111
But nobody
ever listened to mama.

297
00:14:08,112 --> 00:14:10,881
[gagged speech]

298
00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:14,184
Yeah. Daddy had a weak heart,
but did the tourists care?

299
00:14:14,185 --> 00:14:16,921
No. "give me some towels.
It's too hot. It's too cold"

300
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:17,922
"you call this food?"

301
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:20,223
"we should have gone
to hawaii."

302
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:25,162
Dad finally collapsed bringing
some fat woman a burger

303
00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:27,565
In the middle of the night.

304
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:30,601
Mama committed suicide
shortly thereafter.

305
00:14:30,602 --> 00:14:31,836
Aw...

306
00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:35,739
Right in this room.

307
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,709
They left me all alone
to take care of myself.

308
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:41,278
A little kid of 20.

309
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:45,516
And that's how I been
ever since, alone.

310
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:48,385
My parents lost their lives
taking care of others.

311
00:14:48,386 --> 00:14:50,921
Now who's going
to take care of me?

312
00:14:50,922 --> 00:14:53,958
[gagged speech]

313
00:14:57,829 --> 00:14:59,162
What?

314
00:14:59,163 --> 00:15:01,966
[unintelligible]

315
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:05,569
Oh. Please.
Please, mr. Maniac.

316
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,771
Don't kill me.
I'll take care of you.

317
00:15:07,772 --> 00:15:09,139
Oh, yeah, sure.

318
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:11,108
You tourists, you can't
even take care of yourselves.

319
00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:12,242
No, no, no, no.

320
00:15:12,243 --> 00:15:14,945
Believe me.
I'm really good at, uh...

321
00:15:14,946 --> 00:15:17,681
Uh, what do you
call that stuff?

322
00:15:17,682 --> 00:15:18,682
Housework?

323
00:15:18,683 --> 00:15:20,618
That's it.

324
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:22,486
I don't know.

325
00:15:22,487 --> 00:15:24,688
I like my place clean.

326
00:15:24,689 --> 00:15:26,524
I was born to clean.

327
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:28,358
Dusting?
I'm the best.

328
00:15:28,359 --> 00:15:29,994
Polishing?
Legend.

329
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:31,629
And, uh, what do you
call those things

330
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:35,132
You know that you push across
the rug and they go, whrr?

331
00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:37,902
A vacuum?

332
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:40,804
I feel naked without one.

333
00:15:40,805 --> 00:15:43,607
Then you'll definitely have one.

334
00:15:43,608 --> 00:15:44,608
What about sewing?

335
00:15:44,609 --> 00:15:46,410
What about it?
Do you do it?

336
00:15:46,411 --> 00:15:47,645
Happily.
Washing?

337
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:50,648
Your clothes?
I'd be proud.

338
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,150
Blood stains,
no problem.

339
00:15:53,151 --> 00:15:54,284
How about cooking?

340
00:15:54,285 --> 00:15:57,955
Oh, now we are really
talking my life.

341
00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:01,491
Yep, just put me in front
of a hot stove on a summer day,

342
00:16:01,492 --> 00:16:05,563
Four burners going,
grease splattering into my face,

343
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:08,732
Mixing with all the sweat.

344
00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:09,867
Who am I kidding?

345
00:16:09,868 --> 00:16:11,669
I don't do any of that stuff.

346
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,003
I don't do anything.

347
00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:16,206
I'm a housewife, damn it!

348
00:16:16,207 --> 00:16:18,943
But look, I feel sorry for you.

349
00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:20,911
I know what it is
to be alone.

350
00:16:20,912 --> 00:16:23,346
I have a husband
and two kids.

351
00:16:23,347 --> 00:16:26,016
But I don't go
around killing them.

352
00:16:26,017 --> 00:16:29,820
I might if
I didn't have a tv.

353
00:16:29,821 --> 00:16:32,890
You know, that could be
the answer for you, too.

354
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:38,128
Look, the next time you get this
killing urge, just do as I do.

355
00:16:38,129 --> 00:16:41,398
Grab yourself some bonbons,
take the phone off the hook,

356
00:16:41,399 --> 00:16:44,234
Pick up the old remote control,
and remember,

357
00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:47,571
Don't kill,
watch <i>phil.</i>

358
00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:50,708
I hate <i>phil.</i>

359
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:52,743
You are sick.

360
00:16:54,145 --> 00:16:59,282
Yeah, but I'm going
to be alive in the morning.

361
00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:01,619
Peg!

362
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,621
Peggy!

363
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,122
Oh!

364
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,423
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.

365
00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:09,226
I didn't mean to bother you
while you were dressing.

366
00:17:09,227 --> 00:17:11,461
Have you seen a tall,
redheaded woman?

367
00:17:11,462 --> 00:17:17,901
I forget her name right now,
but the kids call her mom.

368
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:24,074
It's peggy.

369
00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:26,176
Peg!

370
00:17:26,177 --> 00:17:27,444
Peggy!

371
00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:28,879
That's your future
late husband.

372
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,180
I'll hide
behind the door.

373
00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:31,248
You call him.

374
00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:33,050
I will not.

375
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:35,185
Okay, then I'll
kill you first.

376
00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:37,587
Al! Yoo-hoo!

377
00:17:37,588 --> 00:17:40,824
Honey, I-- I'm in here.

378
00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,329
Peg!

379
00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:47,497
Who did this to you?

380
00:17:47,498 --> 00:17:49,667
Tell me!

381
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:51,168
[unintelligible]

382
00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:52,402
It doesn't matter.
We're going home.

383
00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:53,637
I tell you this--

384
00:17:53,638 --> 00:17:55,639
I don't think we're ever
coming back to this place.

385
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,840
[unintelligible]

386
00:17:56,841 --> 00:17:57,941
Let me untie this.

387
00:17:57,942 --> 00:17:59,543
You know, I kind of
like you this way.

388
00:17:59,544 --> 00:18:00,878
I think we'll
take this home.

389
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,345
What are you trying
to say?

390
00:18:02,346 --> 00:18:04,414
Aah!
Aah!

391
00:18:06,818 --> 00:18:08,552
Help me, peg.
Help me.

392
00:18:08,553 --> 00:18:10,320
Help me, peg.

393
00:18:10,321 --> 00:18:12,422
I'll cook for whoever wins!

394
00:18:12,423 --> 00:18:13,423
[thud]

395
00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:15,325
Al! Al!

396
00:18:15,326 --> 00:18:18,528
Ah! Ah! Help me, peg.
Help me.

397
00:18:18,529 --> 00:18:23,801
Help me, peg.
Help me, peg. Help me.

398
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,569
Come on, peg.

399
00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:28,138
Run! Run, peg! Run!

400
00:18:34,846 --> 00:18:36,613
Yep, yep, yep.

401
00:18:36,614 --> 00:18:38,481
Ever hear of the drink
coca-cola?

402
00:18:38,482 --> 00:18:41,118
Yeah.

403
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,220
Will you stop it?

404
00:18:43,221 --> 00:18:46,156
That's the first time
you've said those words, kel.

405
00:18:46,157 --> 00:18:47,424
Ugh!

406
00:18:47,425 --> 00:18:48,826
He's an idiot.

407
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,327
Huh?

408
00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:53,363
That's right, dear.

409
00:18:53,364 --> 00:18:58,068
Anyhow, you ever hear
of chevrolet?

410
00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:00,137
Peg:
Aah!

411
00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:01,271
That's mom.

412
00:19:01,272 --> 00:19:03,207
Al:
Aah!

413
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:05,175
That's dad!

414
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,887
Help me, peg.
Help me, help me.

415
00:19:16,888 --> 00:19:18,188
Run, peg, run.

416
00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:19,689
Run, peg, run.

417
00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:20,991
Run, run, run.

418
00:19:24,729 --> 00:19:27,765
Al! Al, my hair!

419
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:32,069
Help me, peg.

420
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,470
Help me.

421
00:19:33,471 --> 00:19:36,306
Help me.

422
00:19:37,308 --> 00:19:38,776
Don't help me, peg.

423
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,586
There he is, the killer.

424
00:19:49,587 --> 00:19:52,790
He's done, washed up,
finished.

425
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,658
He learned what
a lot of killers learn:

426
00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:59,696
When they come after
bundy, they find trouble.

427
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:02,866
Excuse me.

428
00:20:05,136 --> 00:20:06,003
[puking]

429
00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:13,343
Yep. Bundy's the name,
hero's the game.

430
00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,577
Get him out of here.

431
00:20:14,578 --> 00:20:17,514
Who is he sheriff?
Who is the murdering scum?

432
00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:19,516
Uh-oh.

433
00:20:19,517 --> 00:20:22,786
Well, do we take him to jail
now, or hang him right here?

434
00:20:22,787 --> 00:20:24,587
Do you know who
this man is, bundy?

435
00:20:24,588 --> 00:20:27,390
Yeah.
He's the killer.

436
00:20:27,391 --> 00:20:33,063
Yes, but he's also the man
who met andy griffith.

437
00:20:37,568 --> 00:20:38,902
What are you doing?

438
00:20:38,903 --> 00:20:40,804
Making sure
you didn't hurt him.

439
00:20:40,805 --> 00:20:44,374
See, bundy, dumpwater
ain't much of a town.

440
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,409
We only got two things--

441
00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:52,249
A serial killer and the man
who met andy griffith.

442
00:20:54,518 --> 00:20:57,254
We could probably stand
to lose one or the other,

443
00:20:57,255 --> 00:21:00,224
But we'll be damned
if we're going to lose both.

444
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:03,861
Y'all better
get going, bundy.

445
00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:06,296
I say we hang
the whole family.

446
00:21:06,297 --> 00:21:13,303
I'd kind of like to keep
the little white-haired girl.

447
00:21:14,472 --> 00:21:15,705
Kids, get the bags.

448
00:21:15,706 --> 00:21:17,574
Dad, are we
taking mom too?

449
00:21:17,575 --> 00:21:20,744
I guess.

450
00:21:20,745 --> 00:21:23,780
Are you gonna be able to talk
tonight at the high school?

451
00:21:23,781 --> 00:21:25,415
I don't know.

452
00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:28,785
He hit me hard.

453
00:21:30,554 --> 00:21:31,889
Take her like she is.

454
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:33,891
We'll untie her
at home...

455
00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:34,892
Maybe.

456
00:21:37,128 --> 00:21:39,629
[tires screeching]

457
00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:41,731
Peg:
<i>Al, where are the kids?</i>

458
00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:49,873
Bud and kelly:
<i>Thanks, dad.</i>

459
00:21:49,874 --> 00:21:54,144
Kelly: <i>Gee, dad, next year</i>
<i>can we go to lebanon?</i>

460
00:21:54,145 --> 00:21:56,179
Where's my luggage,
marcie?

461
00:21:56,180 --> 00:21:58,949
Steve, please, I am sick
of hearing about your luggage.

462
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:00,317
Can we talk
about something else?

463
00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:04,121
Fine.
Where's my camera, marcie?

464
00:22:04,122 --> 00:22:05,422
Steve, you're obsessive.

465
00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:07,925
I am not obsessive.

466
00:22:11,529 --> 00:22:15,098
I just know they've taken that
luggage and gone off somewhere.

467
00:22:15,099 --> 00:22:16,233
Right, steve.

468
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:18,235
I'm sure they're going
to build a whole new life

469
00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:19,436
Around your luggage.

470
00:22:19,437 --> 00:22:21,905
And my camera.

471
00:22:21,906 --> 00:22:24,874
Bundys:
<i>♪ there's no place like home ♪</i>

472
00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:28,312
Al:
<i>Steve, here's you luggage</i>
<i>and your camera.</i>

473
00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:30,847
[tires screeching]

474
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:46,296
[♪]